Sample Essay (Score = 3)
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Scoring Explanation
This essay shows some understanding of the writing task.
The writer takes a position on the issue (Both sides have strong points, but I agree with the educators who say that their shouldn't be an extension to high school adding a fifth year) and offers some context for discussion by repeating the prompt as an introduction. By using the prompt as part of the essay, the writer acknowledges a counter-argument but does not discuss it at all.
Two main ideas are developed to support the writer's position (. . . I agree with those people who say that students would loose interest. . . . I also feel that there should not be another year to high school because I just feel that it should be a job of the instructors at an high school to prepare us, high school students, for college within those four years of high school), with the first idea repeated twice in separate parts of the discussion (I just think that five years is too long and students would get bored with school). Discussion of each idea is limited to general statements that are never illustrated by specific reasons, examples, or details (I feel that creating yet another year to high school would decrease the teacher's interest and they would do a poor job and wait until the fifth year to make up for their mistakes), but the essay does maintain focus on the specific issue in the prompt.
Organization is simple and clear but provides no evidence that ideas in the essay are logically sequenced within the discussion. Simple transitions connect the paragraphs (I agree . . . I also feel . . . I just think . . .) without making meaningful connections between ideas. The introduction and conclusion are clearly discernible as intentional frames for the discussion, but are underdeveloped—either because the language is merely repeated from the prompt or because the writer did not extend summation past a single conclusive statement.
Language use shows some sentence variety (Some adolescence are already loosing interest in school and an increasing number of students are becoming dropouts) and appropriate word choice (potential, succeed, attendance). Some errors distract but do not impede understanding.